Growing up, We started initially to concentrate on the differences between Italy and you may Kosovo in terms of skills lifestyle, particularly about that question. There is certainly a term that always been employed by Albanian people and i either however listen to. Whenever a guy will get partnered, the mother and father and family members say, “We partnered him.” That does not make sense conceptually, you to definitely decides to wed and you will can it. It is really not the others who go for your.
I wanted understand by doing this regarding identifying some thing, so i made a decision to realize Lek Dukagjini’s “Kanun.” Contained in this text message, I suppose I came across an answer. In one of the articles, they claims that everybody deals with marriage with the exception of the couple. That’s why it’s a good idea to state that “we partnered him.” As at that time, all ilies worried. The couple failed to manage things, sometimes they did not even favor or such as for example one another.
Times has actually changed and you also do not learn about instances such as those more – no less than, I really hope not. However, an effective germ of these mentality keeps remained. Pressure exerted by relatives and you may household members standards both you and prospects one to make including a choice.
What possess remained prevalent is the idea of “giving” or “taking” a girl. Right now, people nonetheless tune in to from their family it is good for them to learn how to create certain things in the home, because when they exit because of their husbands they’ll not need to search bad. Things such as washing the household, preparing food, offering caj (tea) and so on.
The concept your girl ‘s the object of boy continues. A thing that a father decides to give away or otherwise not. That is what guides of many to find married immediately following a preliminary duration of understanding both, as it commonly happens that a great girl’s dad seems and says to the guy to choose what you should do – wed otherwise avoid – as the their child isn’t a toy.
The female gender is still recognized as an item
Growing right up, I additionally realized that all the stereotypes for which Europeans had been discussed and additionally put on you. Some body become divorcing, the good news is. We say that since the We imagine the longevity of a woman, given in marriage or maybe even married of the her very own usually, locked-up inside your home from the stereotypical Albanian son, who prevents you from going out and you can carrying out typical personal circumstances. I believe which girl finding the bravery – as a result of an even more unlock neighborhood – to depart you to definitely home and you will go back to independence.
The idea of split up nearly don’t occur for all of us, while the female did not challenge to depart the man they partnered. But I came across that our some body supply people, which our individuals and wed private obtain. Basically, we commonly better than someone else. We’re not finest therefore the “others” commonly the newest devil.
I’m sure that if We wed an Albanian woman, what you might possibly be glorious.
Including having been fortunate to enhance up for the a developed nation such as for instance Italy, being capable investigation and never with was required to live from the conflict, I’ve the large luck of having a couple mothers who have never forced me to be this type of pressure. However, I believe they anyhow, because that care and attention was born in my personal lead very long before.
If i wed to a non-Albanian lady, just how usually my moms and dads rise above the crowd? Exactly how am i going to be considered? Who can arrive at my house because the an invitees in the event that my escort in Fairfield CA personal spouse cannot cam Albanian? Often she ever go Kosovo? Exactly how will we title our kids? Usually our kids speak Albanian?